something to talk about
by janemac24
Summary: [AU] Marian's ex-husband went on one date with Regina Mills, and now every reporter in the country has decided the two actresses are feuding. With every headline she reads, Marian grows more and more irritated, but Regina has an idea that might remedy the situation. Maiden Queen one-shot.


_Based on prompt: maiden queen + celebrities AU + fake relationship_

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><p><strong>(On Regina Mills) "She's ... a monster come to life." - Marian Knighton dishes on ex-husband's new arm-candy.<strong>

Marian almost spits out her yogurt when she reads the headline. She'd learned a while back that reading her own press could be nothing but detrimental to her mental health, but when the article flashes up on her homepage, she's clicking the link before she can even stop herself. She'd wondered why the hell a reporter was asking her about Mills, but she'd never imagined that her words ("She's an incredible actress; I love her in _Red as a Rose._ I've never seen someone so adept at making a monster come to life.") could be twisted in such a ludicrous way.

"Is it worth suing for libel?" she asks her agent, and he hems and haws and tells her this is just par for the course, that she should be more careful with her words next time, and she reluctantly accepts it.

Hollywood is cutthroat even if the people in it aren't. She's just never felt it quite so personally before.

Little does she know, her "feud" with Regina Mills is only getting started.

**The "other woman" punches back. "Marian Knighton is ... far too vanilla." – Regina Mills on why Robin Locksley left his ex for her.**

That one almost makes her want to laugh; she and Robin had been divorced almost three years before he'd gone on (according to Roland, anyway) _one_ date with this actress. There's a rage, though, bubbling up inside her at Mills' audacity. _How dare she comment on a relationship she knows nothing about?_ Marian wonders, furiously clicking the link.

What if someone says something to Roland? Will three years of amicability mean nothing?

Doesn't Regina have her own impressionable son? What's he going to think of his mother?

When her reading turns up nothing, Marian turns to Google. Her fingers have a mind of their own, clicking the first video that pops up: a fan interview with Mills for some second-rate celebrity gossip site.

_"Regina, tell us about Marian!"_

_"Marian Knighton is a revelation. Her role in _Imps and Outlaws_ is nothing short of a dream come true. It's nice to finally see some representation in a genre that's been far too vanilla."_

_"Regina, is it true that –"_

Marian pauses the video and takes a deep breath. She should have known not to trust a publication known for prioritizing cheap drama over journalistic integrity.

She also should have known, she reflects sheepishly, that Robin has standards. He would never have dated Regina – would never have allowed her to meet Roland – if she was as immature and catty as the press would like her to appear.

So she tosses aside her rage at Regina and lets her rage at the press grow and simmer until she's certain she'll strangle any reporter who comes within a ten-foot radius.

But the worst is yet to come.

**Will a catfight break out at the Emmys tomorrow night? Mills and Knighton both nominated for Best Supporting Actress.**

This time, when the headline pops up on MSN first thing in the morning, Marian throws her make-up case across the room and considers moving to a remote island without internet access.

Of course this would happen. Of course. The second two women of color get nominated for the same award, a "cat fight" is bound to break out. She knows even without reading that the article is surely going to mention someone's "fiery temper" and describe one of them as a "curvy, raven-haired beauty." At this point, she can write the damn thing herself, and she's just about had it.

"Mama?" Roland asks worriedly.

"Mama's fine, honey," she sighs, forcing a smile for his sake.

Now he looks confused. "No, Mama, someone's here."

And sure enough, once the ringing in her ears dies down a little, she hears the knock at the door. "It's a little early for guests, isn't it?" she remarks. "Roland, you stay in the study." He shrugs agreeably and plops onto her chair, squealing as he spins himself by pushing off the desk. That ought to entertain him for a while, she decides, and she quickly pulls her hair back before casting a quick glance through the peephole.

Her heart almost stops.

_Regina Mills_ is at her doorstep.

"How did you get past the doorman?" she asks warily, but Regina doesn't answer. Instead, she pushes past Marian without so much as a hello, dragging a preteen boy in a private school uniform behind her, his nose buried in a book.

"Henry, you can read on the couch for a few minutes," she orders as she practically slams the door shut, checking the peephole anxiously like she thinks a reporter might have followed her up here. She's dressed in a faux-fur scarf and a sheer leopard-print shirt that's somehow as sexy as it is ugly, and Marian's breath catches in her throat when she sees the smooth, perfect expanse of cleavage just behind a straining top button.

When she finally finds her voice again, she demands, "Why are you here?"

"We need to put a stop to this," Regina says matter-of-factly.

"To fighting? I never –"

"I know, dear, and I didn't either. But the fact remains that our so-called feud is all over the news and it's causing my son to be bullied in school. I have no doubt that if yours was older, he'd be facing the same thing."

"I – I'm sorry, I –"

"Now, about the Emmys," Regina interrupts, "I was thinking..."

"If you want to go with Robin, I won't care," Marian mumbles. "He and I are friends."

Regina rolls her eyes. "Of course not. Your ex-husband is a good man, but a colossal bore. I'm taking Henry as my date," she says, with an indulgent smile at her son, who looks up from his book for just long enough to grin back at her. "But actually, I thought I'd like to go with you."

Marian blinks, wonder if she's understanding correctly. "Excuse me?"

"It's quite a simple plan: you take your son, I'll take mine. I've already talked to my agent, who's talked to yours, who's talked to the organizers of the event about seating us together. We'll make nice to each other, pose for a few family-centric pictures, and generally put the feud rumors to rest. Everyone goes home happy."

"I – um..." Marian stutters, narrowing her eyes as she tries to process Regina's plan. It sounds perfect. Too perfect. "What's the catch?"

"People could start to think you're dating," Henry calls across the room, barely lifting his eyes from the page.

"That'll never happen, dear. The media's perception of female sexuality isn't nearly nuanced enough. We could kiss and they'd still think we were just friends," Regina refutes, lips turned upward into a smug smile.

"If you say so," her son says dubiously.

Marian shrugs. "Sounds fine to me," she replies. "It would be past Roland's bedtime, but I guess seeing your mom nominated for an award is a pretty special occasion. I just...wow. You work fast. That article just came out last night."

"Well, New York is three hours ahead," Regina points out. "I've had plenty of time to work. We just flew in this morning. And on that note, Henry and I are going to check into our hotel. I'll see you tomorrow night?"

And just like that, she and Henry are out the door, and Marian's legs are a little shaky watching them go. She shakes her head vigorously for a few seconds and then retreats to the study, where Roland is waiting expectantly for her. "Well, Roland, I guess we're buying you a new suit today," she says.

Then she laughs out loud at the sheer ridiculousness of it.

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><p>"Mama, your dress is so pretty," Roland says, staring up at her as they walk down the red carpet together. She's wearing forest green and she doesn't think it's her best look, but her stylist had been waxing poetic about how it was so appropriate given the role she was nominated for, and naturally, green is Roland's favorite color at the moment.<p>

"I concur," says a voice behind her, and Marian whirls around to see Regina Mills standing almost alarmingly close, clad head-to-toe in black except for her bright red lipstick. Henry's on her arm, looking dapper in his tuxedo. "Someone did an excellent job picking it out," she declares, and Roland smiles proudly. "Although I'm afraid our outfits clash a bit."

"Better our outfits than our words," Marian tries to joke, although her throat's too dry and her face is too hot, blazing so red she's worried she'll be mistaken for Christmas tree.

Reporters are surrounding them in an instant. "Marian, how does it feel to share a nomination with your ex-husband's new flame?" someone demands. Regina rolls her eyes.

"It was one date," Henry says under his breath, scowling.

But Marian came prepared. "It feels amazing to be considered, especially in the company of such an accomplished actress," she answers smoothly.

"I think it's wonderful that little girls – and boys – are now able to turn on their TVs and see actresses who look like them in big-name roles," Regina is telling another reporter. "Not to mention winning awards for doing what they love. I'm honored, really."

"And it doesn't bother you that you've shared a man?" a third reporter asks Marian. Sighing, she meets Regina's eyes, and the look that passes between them nearly takes Marian's breath away as she sees her own slowly building lust and complicated desire reflected in Regina's searing gaze.

Regina arches an eyebrow, as if to say, _"Why not?"_ and Marian turns to the reporter with a smug smile. "Who says I'm sharing her with anyone?" she counters, her arm moving of its own accord to snake around Regina's waist. She can feel her heart begin to pound as the warmth of Regina's body presses against her. Regina's fingers reach up, brushing against her cheek, and Marian shivers.

"Um...Roland and I are going to find some snacks," Henry mutters awkwardly, dragging the younger boy along behind him, and Marian inhales sharply as she notes the way Regina's eyes flicker down to her lips.

"Is... is this happening?" she whispers.

"Do you want it to?"

Swallowing hard, Marian jerks her head, and one nod is all it takes. The flashbulbs are going off all around them, but the only thing Marian notices is the feel of Regina's soft, full lips against hers, of Regina's tongue darting inside her mouth, Regina's teeth trailing teasingly along her lower lip as they break apart.

She inhales sharply, the burning sensation inside her rendering her unable to speak or even move, and Regina smirks. "That'll give them a good story," she remarks, then she takes Marian's hand and leads her into the auditorium.

Marian thinks she hears one of the reporters mutter, "I had no idea they were such good friends."


End file.
